Our Identity Is Not Defined By What We Do
During this year, I’ve constantly battled with the thoughts of “I am not doing enough.”
Seeing people around me walking through different season of life, whether it is marriage, kids, new job positions, it can definitely direct my thoughts towards comparison. Honestly, I’ve fought against comparison ever since I was a kid. My earliest memory of comparing myself was at a church retreat, I was in Sunday school and my mom was the teacher that day. I saw her play with other children and that’s when jealousy and envy began to fill my heart. Imagine that, I’m amazed at how sin can creep into a young child’s heart.
The world constantly throws at us how important status is, or if we are financially stable, either if we own stuff, what kind of job title we have, how successful we are. Social media constantly show us what achievements people have accomplished. Not to blame people for posting beautiful moments and pictures of their lives, I do it myself to keep memories on my own feed, but we can get carried away by thoughts of “why don’t I have that?” or “why hasn’t it happened to me yet?” Ya feel it too sometimes?
For almost a year now, I haven’t had a job position. Through this transition, it’s challenging for me since I tend to lean towards the thought of “I need to be doing something. I need a title.” Basically, going through the fear of disappointment. Fear of disappointing my family, fear of not pleasing the opinions of others, and fear of disappointing myself. Before, I used to be a university student, then I became a professional, and now, I’m kinda just in a time of resting, waiting on God and walking in faith. It’s a weird season for me, yet it’s been one of the most exciting seasons of my life.
For the past two months, I’ve been able to enjoy moments with my mom and my family, yet it’s also been a time where the enemy and my sinful nature still throws in doubt and insecurity. Many voices saying, “What do you mean volunteer? That doesn’t pay the bills. Oh, you’ll be working for church, huh? Serving in missions? You won’t be able to earn a living.”
I laid down my vocational work as a graphic designer aside for a time because I know that God is preparing me for His work. Starting in July on this year, I’ll be serving in full time missions and it’s definitely not an easy lifestyle - it requires full dependency on God for providence. FULL DEPENDANCY. Full dependency on finances, which is something I had never done before. I mean, during my university years, God would provide for me in the most unexpected ways. Why should I doubt Him now?
These days, I’m definitely surrendering my all to the Lord. Every area. And I need to keep reminding myself to trust in the Lord, that it all belongs to Him, and if He called me to focus on his work, he will provide through it all. It also doesn’t mean that I’m walking away from my own dreams and goals, it means that I’m aligning myself to God’s heart, his plans for me, which are always better than my own! Right now, I don’t have a specific job title, and that doesn’t define my identity. Where do I put my identity? In Christ alone. What do the scriptures say about our identity?
That was pretty clear! Hehe! To set our minds on things above, to focus on Jesus. Our identity really isn’t built on what we do or what we have, but as believers, our identity is to be a child of God.
To end this post, my friend Sophie posted an image that made my day.